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AMERICA
AMERICA'', fuck no! ''-Everyone UNLIMITED/ALTERNATIVE: GOD DAMMIT AMERICA GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER Located between North and South Mexico, AMERICA is the country prone to fucking up simple plans. While AMERICANs are genuinely well-intentioned at heart, they have a tendency to fuck things up for everyone in general. You can expect them to do the right thing... as soon as they exhaust every other option. The one time they created a TSF capable of fighting in a Hive on par or better than other nations, they mothballed it, in favor of a sneaky backstabbing SOB. They also came up with the RED SHIFT defence line which is essentially to nuke Alaska to turn it into a moat at the first sign of BETA. The bad part about that is it would wipe their long time rivals. TDA: THOSE DAMNED AMERICANS AMERICA's love of G-Bombing the fuck out of anything that moves became the basis for a certain Alternative plan. Unfortunately for them, their G-Bomb fetish really fucks over humanity. The only consolation is the people who enacted it are probably dead. Origins of the Gag Article A reference to Americans, and the nation of the United States of America being scarily competent at their own interests in the worlds of Unlimited/Alternative, and the steps taken to realize those interests. They are responsible for many things, some of which include inciting fear over a global TSF arms race, selling arms to nations at war with the BETA while staying relatively safe (but they make good shit, so it's still okay), dropping a nuclear bomb (or several dozen) on Canada LIKE A BOSS in order to stay safe, and having a jolly good time trolling the other nations, with Russia being their regular victim partner both, because it's GOD DAMMIT, AMERICA. Their Raptors are also cowardly peices of shit, with no S-11 nor melee capabilities, designed to fight more against TSFs than BETA at long range, because hiding behind a rock and shooting from a distance where you're safer is the AMERICAN WAY, which explains their lust for G-bombing while sitting their asses on a couch eating McDonalds and then clapping afterwards. Let's not forget that the second a couple of squadrons of Rafales crossed the border from Hell on Earth (Canada) to A Little Less Hell On Earth (Whats Left Of America) they scrambled the Mighty USAF complete with nuclear bombs, ready to nuke the shit out of France, Canada, Japan and. of course. THEMSELVES. Of course this was prevented by a Not As Bratty Saviour waving smoke flares around like a boss from the open cockpit of his TSF. In the middle of a 4 way firefight. We, on the other hand, could have really used some of that competence in our world. Applied to the right areas, of course. The worse part is that this is what happens when they aren't actively trying to screw you over, which has extremely unpleasant implications if the AMERICANs get serious about trolling the world. Gags aside, and in all fairness, the Americans for the most part are decent people who're trying to do the right thing while being ruthlessly pragmatic about safeguarding their interests; it's just that things rarely tend to go as well as they'd hope or like, generally to the detriment of those around them. Category:Gag article